blood_victor (blood_victor) wrote in bipolarity777,

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The Exquisite heights of your Unabashed Manias

This community is for those who have stories to share regarding their Manic behaviour in all its glittering, despairing glory. This is a controlled, open forum. This means that anyone can join, anyone can post, but that I am going to be monitoring every contribution in accordance with strict aesthetic standards. I prefer well-written, properly considered essays over gibberish that fails to edify this condition to those without context.

I have had some wild times while technically suffering a major Manic episode with Psychotic features. I have enjoyed everything but the ultimate break with my waking reality. Mostly, I haven't liked running into the brick wall of involuntary/voluntary hospitalization. I haven't liked forcing this thing on my family, and subsequently allowing them to view me through the foggy lens of their prejudices regarding the mentally ill. Still, I know I've seen and felt things they never will. For the most part, my diagnosis has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I can attribute my behaviour to an illness. I can pass off my predilection for Absurdist rants as part of a higher disorder I can hardly control. But, I don't do this. Manic-Depression is not an excuse for being an asshole to people who just happen to be caught in the cross hairs of one's afflicted perceptions.

I don't feel that I can speak openly about this illness because so few have a context by which to include it. I like to equate my soaring moments to Icarus' flight toward the sun and his subsequent descent into the raucous cold of despair. The unwelcome sea offers a perfect metaphor for the inevitable crash. The heights are so intensely felt that the only recourse the body has is to provide an equally intense voyage into the jaws of the abyss. Oh, but the heights once scaled...
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